This is the A-side of CASSETTE#20, titled “A Chaos of Desire with Vicki” on the spine, and “Chaos of desire-mixes w/vicki Jan 90” on the top of the j-card.

I dubbed this cassette after returning from recording Vicki’s violins at Natural Sound Studio in Miami, Florida. Back in the day before I recorded to a computer and could do mixes anytime I wanted, I would roll rough-mixes off the 8-track multi-track tape, so I could listen to the pieces I was working on.

You can hear that the songs are in final structure, the main changes between these and the final version is I recorded Oscar’s vocals, Julianna’s vocals, and created a better mix for the album.

A warning for your listening experience:
My guide vocals are dreadful on “One last breath.” The melody is there, I’m just not a singer! I usually recorded those straight through, with some punch-ins, to give Oscar a guide for what I wanted him to do. You can see why I don’t sing my own albums! At 1:39 in the violin solo, the violins get quiet. That’s because there are two violin takes within the solo, I do a transition between them at that point; it worked much better during the final mix-down.

You have been warned about track#1!

I also sing the guide melody on “Hypocrite,” which isn’t as shreiky. Vicki’s violin are louder in the transition around 4:00; you can hear what she’s playing better.


I think it’s interesting to hear that “the turbulence & the torment” was recorded during CHAOS, but held for THIS LUSH GARDEN WITHIN. There’s no Vicki on that track. “How can you forget love” also has no Vicki on it. Both mixes sound close to the album, though you can hear what I’m saying better on this mix of “turbulence.”

Oscar isn’t on these mixes, which is odd as we also recorded at Natural Sound in Florida. Perhaps he was away for the Xmas holiday when I was down in Miami to work with Vicki, and I went back later to record with him? That’s my guess, anyway.